What's Up With Wink?

I am the frequent recipient of winks. Yes, the dubious act of batting one eyelid so quickly that it is uncertain whether it was an accidental twitch or an intentional expression. These winks come from ladies, gentlemen, young and old. Whenever someone winks at me, I spend the rest of the day wondering, "what did that mean?" It is as if the winker tries to signify "I know what you're thinking." For all you winkers out there, no. You do not know what I am thinking! Well, now I am thinking, what the heck is up with the wink? Before that, I can assure you- my mind was so far from you and your wink and now you've absolutely distracted me from that previous train of thought!

This is not to say that I do not like people winking at me. In fact, I am frequently amused by the gesture. I will even go so far as to say that sometimes I get warm fuzzies. It is as if the winkers are inviting me into their enigmatic winking club and this fleeting shutter of the one eye is their secret handshake ala cutesy Freemasons style. It is the intention behind the wink that leaves me bewildered. I have observed winks being thrown around all over the place. When one is cast across a crowded bar room, only an alien unfamiliar with our strange human mating calls does not understand what it means. There are, however, so many sorts of winks that are applicable in a myriad of different situations that one would need a winking dictionary in order to fully understand the oddity of it all.

I often contemplate if I should join the legion of winkers out there. The only benefit it holds for me at this point is the satisfaction of knowing that I have encouraged someone else to futiley ponder the origin of my wink. I think for now, though, I will stick with words.

Liberation

Yes! The Blonde Philosopher has been liberated. As I walked through the market today (why are all my posts about the supermarket all of a sudden? I feel like I have become one of those old ladies to whom the activity of going to Stop and Shop is a significant social excursion...), I made my way through the fruit aisle to approach my banana dilemma once more. Having pondered for much too long over which species of apple I would like to eat this week (I decided on Fuji), I came face to face with a mountain of greenish and yellow bananas. I scanned my immediate area quickly and made a decision. I WOULD break the bunch. I WOULD go home with only three bananas because I knew I could never eat six before they turned brown and mushy.

Then... I did it. I detached the bananas from their cluster. No one thought I was strange for doing so. I did not feel an impending sense of guilt about it. Only liberation from a wasteful society.

When I approached the self-checkout counter, my experience of banana liberation immediately went down hill. Why is it that one frequently requires MORE assistance at the self-checkout? Does that not defeat the purpose of having SELF checkout? I called on the clerk at least a half dozen times. Between the automated woman's voice nagging me not to place items on the belt and my yogurt not scanning due to the container's awkward rounded barcode, I made a vow to deal with human being cashiers from now on. Hell may be "other people" as Sartre remarked, but all of Dante's nine circles of it are surely comprised of automated systems.

The Blonde Philosopher Goes to the Market... Again...

I was the open minded recipient of many decent anecdotes and antidotes for my banana dilemma. A friend suggested I might make banana bread. Several others remarked that it is not necessary to purchase all six bananas; it is perfectly legal to break off bananas from the greater bunch.

Today, during my escapade to the market, I strolled down the fruits and vegetables aisle. I saw a plethora of luscious leafy greens with questionable labels assorted above the display. Boston Lettuce? Is it imported from Boston? I have never heard of such a lettuce species. I am not even going to attempt to discover the mystery of how Iceberg Lettuce got its appelation. It does not resemble an iceberg, nor is it scientifically possible to harvest such a vegetable in the kind of climate that fosters icebergs. In any event, I shall ponder the lettuce mystery another day....

Excitedly, I thought I might go ahead and purchase some bananas with the recent knowledge that I am in fact not committing a moral wrong doing by breaking off bananas from the remainder of the bunch. I was shocked and dismayed to find when I reached the mountain of fruit, not one bunch of bananas looked edible in the least. They were all a sickly shade of pale yellow, in a jaundice sort of way.

What does this mean? The banana metaphor continues to imprison my thoughts in the little chambers of contemplation.