What's Up With Wink?

I am the frequent recipient of winks. Yes, the dubious act of batting one eyelid so quickly that it is uncertain whether it was an accidental twitch or an intentional expression. These winks come from ladies, gentlemen, young and old. Whenever someone winks at me, I spend the rest of the day wondering, "what did that mean?" It is as if the winker tries to signify "I know what you're thinking." For all you winkers out there, no. You do not know what I am thinking! Well, now I am thinking, what the heck is up with the wink? Before that, I can assure you- my mind was so far from you and your wink and now you've absolutely distracted me from that previous train of thought!

This is not to say that I do not like people winking at me. In fact, I am frequently amused by the gesture. I will even go so far as to say that sometimes I get warm fuzzies. It is as if the winkers are inviting me into their enigmatic winking club and this fleeting shutter of the one eye is their secret handshake ala cutesy Freemasons style. It is the intention behind the wink that leaves me bewildered. I have observed winks being thrown around all over the place. When one is cast across a crowded bar room, only an alien unfamiliar with our strange human mating calls does not understand what it means. There are, however, so many sorts of winks that are applicable in a myriad of different situations that one would need a winking dictionary in order to fully understand the oddity of it all.

I often contemplate if I should join the legion of winkers out there. The only benefit it holds for me at this point is the satisfaction of knowing that I have encouraged someone else to futiley ponder the origin of my wink. I think for now, though, I will stick with words.